- Storm coming over Boyd Creek
Dear family and friends,
Except for five weeks of late afternoon and early evening thunderstorms, with beautiful lightning shows followed by self-congratulating thunder (nature’s version of a standing ovation), it has been quiet on The Ridge. Nora’s appetite improves along with my cooking. It’s still somewhat of a guessing game, but as the effects of the chemo recede, it’s better. But I know there is no normal.
One of the many features of our “new” home (we will have been here a year in August … impossible) is the fireplace. Nora could do without a kitchen, possibly a bedroom, but not a fireplace. Our young neighbors (the only ones within shouting — or barking — distance) had five pretty massive hickories cut down last week and, through their kindness, we won’t have to worry about firewood this winter.
Our conversations tend to be about what we need for after the July 29 surgery. Pillows, sheets for guests/helpers, loose clothing, changing bandages, the “surgical arm.” Nora’s experience as a home health aide for ten years have prepared her for what is to come. Though not me. I read, I watch, I listen. None of that matters. This is not “the new normal.” This is very different, believe me.
AT THE TOP OF MY VOICE
oh there is rage why
select a beloved
for such an ordeal where
is fairness how do others
not break bonds with God why
such random selection?
enlightenment evades me
I learn to trust only the beloved
pax vobiscum
Your cards and notes and emails and comments mean so much to Nora. Thank you. Nora says she’s “excited” about the surgery. Figures.
Paul
What does God have to do with this? do you think?? I often wonder about divine intervention and usually dismiss it. Random selection most likely. I think life just is…A loving God would reward loving and giving people like yourselves. If there is a God, I feel His concepts are so far beyond ours and HIs love is beyond our understanding. Keep the faith. Seminary 101. xo
Dear Nora and Paul,
Prayers are with you in this lull between chemo and surgery. Can you even call that a “lull”? I don’t know. Seems like the pot and kettle syndrome, both black. However, get your strength back as best you can, take advantage of the fireplace and summer lightning and thunderstorms. Sometimes nature reminds us that, as my late husband often quoted, “The emphasis in nature is not on what should be, but what is.” Somehow that always struck me as so profound, like a forest. From a distance, beautiful green straight-growing tall standing trees. Close up, lots of others leafless and broken, slanting fallen, carpeted beneath with leaves and chaos — they don’t call it wildlife for nothing. That’s what my life has been for the past 8 years, not me personally, but my life. It’s important for me to see it somewhat objectively. A friend of mine (why does the typing of that word so often some out fiend?) used to say “it’s all just a film, and we are in it.” Not predetermination or fatalism, just an interesting POV, possibly. I’m rambling. Get better, get well, have a nice day :-). Thinking of you both. Love, Mary